Bitter/Sweet Sounds Off

5 Ways to Deal With
Boyfriend-Stealing Chicks

1. Leave it up to your guy; if you two have a solid relationship he should extinguish that fire quicker than you could.


2. Politely call her up and let her know that in case she wasn't aware, your man is taken.


3. Ignore her. This only works if BOTH of you ignore her.


4. Strengthen your core; this could be a good time to go on a little weekend get-away to re instill the love between you and your man, and make sure he knows YOUR the one who knows how to make him happy.


5. Put your foot down. Let your man know that this chick is stressin you and tell him to handle it or your walking.

Sincerely,

Sweet

1. NEVER call the chick! It makes you look EXTREMELY stupid. If she is one of those tramps that gets off on trying to be on someone else's man, this will make her feel GREAT and she will most likely give low blows letting you know how happy she is that you're threatened by her and how "you must not be satisfying your man".. Just don't put yourself in that situation. Don't be stupid.
2. IF by chance, the girl(s) has your man's number, he should respectfully change it. If you ask him and he says no. Move on. You're not even worth a new phone number in his eyes!! If he DOES change it and she calls again, move on.
3. If you see the girl in the streets, don't cling on your man if you weren't already hangin on him.. This also makes you look stupid.. and once again, you're telling her that you're threatened. Instead, smile, and go on about your business. Insecurity shows.. Show some confidence!
4. Your man should let this chick know that you're number one.. ONE AND ONLY. If he doesn't, he's basically not "claiming" you and it makes you look like the stupid girl he is using.. again, Don't be stupid!!!
5. Keep your man's attention! Dress sexy, keep yourself up. Women have a tendency to get comfortable with a man and then let themselves go. Always, ALWAYS, brush your hair, brush your teeth, dress cute, and SATISFY your man. 'What you wont do for your man, another woman will'. Keep an open mind!!!! He shouldn't even be THINKING about that other girl if you're doing your part. And if he is... MOVE ON!!

Sincerely,

BITTER

Sharing is Caring

Dear Bitter/Sweet



I am really in a diffcult situation, i am going out with my girlfriend for more than six years. Every thing is fine , it is just she does not share any thing with me i.e her family problems, her friends etc, when i ask her she says that its privacy the other person would not like if i tell you about their personal matter, then i said the in relationships we meant to share every thing, she does not understand that, she says let me live my own life. I feel that she does not trust me but she says that is not case.I wanted to know am i being weird? or she is right. I just simply dont know i don't feel it right. I have very strong feelings for her and i try to tell her everything of my life regardless , as i feel she needs to know everythink about me, what i think and feel coz she is so important to me, why doesn't she think that way?Please advice... i have already spoken to her various times but she says i dont have to share if someones involved, its about other ppls privacy, i have told her its not about knowing other ppls gossips, its about sharing everything. I feel rejected but she says my views are wrong.. i'll give an example, she only has one sister who was having a very serious affair, infact the guy somehow knew me as well, and she didnt tell me this for three years and i found out about from other sources. It really felt so bad , she said i only lied coz her sister didnt want me to know but her sister told everything to her boyfreind abt me. Anyhow similar matters i love her so much and i know everyone is not perfect, it might be her nature but i m not peaceful.... when i see other ppl around me why v r different...



Dear Friend,

Your right to feel a little cheated. When your in a relationship it should be similar to the bonds of friendship, because relationships ARE friendships. Telling your partner everything, or at least the important things is a statement of trust and commitment. If someone is introverted, and doesn't talk about some of the things that are going on in their lives, it might be because on some level she isn't quite ready for the kind of mature relationship that you have in mind. Maybe it would be a good idea to tell her again how you feel and let her know that there is an aspect of intimacy that is missing from your relationship that you feel there should be after 6 years. If this doesn't convince her to make a change, then you may be better off with a more emotionally mature woman.


Sincerely,
Sweet


Dear Friend,

Your girl is too sneaky! You should tell your partner everything ESPECIALLY after 6 YEARS! If she doesn't respect how you feel and change it then what's the point of being with her! Do you want to marry someone who keeps things from you????? Yea I didn't think so. She doesn't trust you and I'm guessing that either it's because she told you something before and you blabbed, or she is hiding something.. Maybe even lots of things!! If you stay with her, you better keep a closer eye on her. She sounds like TROUBLE.. and another word too but I'll be... nice.. ugh..

Sincerely,
BITTER

Friends and Lovers

Dear Bitter/Sweet,


I have a situation with a friend that I have tried desperately to analyze, and I just can't figure it out. He's a little younger than me, we have been friends for about 6 years( he's also my brothers best friend), and I always knew he had a little crush on me, but I never looked at him that way, until recently. We had gotten a lot closer in the last few months, and we talked almost everyday. He started texting occasionally when he was drunk and saying things that I didn't really understand. Like: "I love you Caroline" or "If we were the same age, would you be my girlfriend" or "I wish I could find a girl like you my age." Things went on this way, for about a month until one night we were drinking and hanging out together, and he kissed me. I told him that we couldn't do that and then we cuddle up and went to sleep. We have always been pretty affectionate, and I never thought anything of it, which is odd considering I am not a very affectionate person. I mean he would always come in my room and cuddle with me and talk to me til I fell asleep. But back to the kiss, it completely changed the way I felt about him, or maybe it just made me realize how I had felt all along. But I couldn't stop thinking about him afterwards. For the next couple of weeks, we talked everyday just like usual, but I knew I was developing feelings for him. I was really scared because he is such a good friend and I have a really hard time trusting guys. We started talking hypothetically about what would happen if we started fooling around, which I never really intended to do. I joked with him that he couldn't just tell me what ever he thought I wanted to hear, and he got very serious and said, " Why would I ever lie to you?" Needless, to say eventually we got very drunk and slept together, which I know was very premature. Afterwards, he started acting a little sketchy. We didn't talk for 4 days, until I text him just to say hey. He said he was busy and would talk to me later. He text me two days later, and made small talk, and then he asked,"So what that hookup we had any good? Be honest" Of course, I told him it was and then he didnt write me back. I tried talking to him a couple of days later because I had heard he had had a bad day. He didn't want to talk then either. So naturally, I was freaking out about it, thinking that he had just used me and it was going to ruin our friendship. So I told him that it was," things have been weird I think it was a huge mistake, and we should pretend like it didn't happen." He said,"Well, its not really weird, but whatever you want." and I told him I just didnt want things to change between us, and he told me not to worry they wouldnt. Then he wouldnt return any of my calls or messages for two months. A couple of weeks ago, I text him and he wrote me back but he was busy. I have text him once a week for the last few weeks just making small talk, and he writes back but all I get are these one word answers. He did tell me he had a girlfriend, though not directly, I asked what he was doing and he said he had just gotten home from her house. Anyhow, I don't understand what the deal is. Did he just use me? Did I hurt him when I said it was a mistake? He writes me back, but acts like he is not interested in talking to me, so why write me back at all? Can you guys explain his behavior?
I know this is a long question, but any help you can give me would be much appreciated!



Dear Friend,

Wow, this situation is pretty complicated! I'm not sure what the age difference is between you two, but it seems like he just slightly too immature to deal with what the two of you started. I don't think he used you purposely, but in the end it does seem to be the case. Your not crazy; his behavior is very suspicious, but not all that complex. He built you up in his head, and pursued you. Then when he had you, he felt the heaviness of what you two did and ran for cover. He probably thought that things were moving too fast, or maybe he realized that he couldn't handle an older woman physically. Whatever the case, the best thing to do know is stay at a distance. No texting, no calling. Let this all blow over, which may take a few months. It's a sad but true fact that some people are just much better off staying friends.

Sincerely,
Sweet


Dear Friend,

Hey he sounds like a jerk to me! He is VERY immature for not responding to you and at the same time, STOP bothering him!! And yes.. you are bothering him.. He probably looks at his phone when he sees it's you, shakes his head and goes on about his business.. He probably laughs at you to his friends about this chick that wont get off of his 'jock'. The male ego does NOT need boosting.. Move on! If you can be friends with him, ok.. But the fact that he can't keep it real with you tells me that he's NOT WORTH IT!! You were used honey. Deal with it. It happens to the best of us!

Sincerely,
BITTER

Opposites Attract

Dear Bitter/Sweet

Ok iv been going out with this girl for about 6 mouths and like were opposites im emo and shes preppy and its like a rollercoster ride half of me wants to get out of it the other half wants to stay ok so it was going good at first rite but she thinks im too slow like ok im slow with realitonships i guess and so i herd that she misses being single and flurting with other guys and i wana make her happy should i break up with her or not im bout 50/50 on it and i need ur help !

Dear Friend,

It seems that what you and your girlfriend are faced with is simple growing pains. The two of you are pretty young, and relationships, at this point, aren't as serious. Being opposites doesn't mean that the two of you aren't good for each other. Plenty of successful couples are complete opposites, in fact the say that can make a relationship more exciting and interesting.

However, if your girlfriend seems to be ready to be single, and you feel like your on the verge of breaking up with her as well; then you may just want to move on. No need to hold on to something that doesn't feel worth the effort anymore. Your young, and there are plenty of other fish in the sea.

Sincerely,

Sweet

Dear Friend,

BOTTOM LINE, SHE MISSES BEIN SINGLE! What more do you need to hear!? Eventually she is gonna get that 'itch' to live the single life and either leave you or cheat on you. Yea, like Sweet said, get another fish.. time to flush the stinky one and move on.. haha!!

Sincerely,
BITTER

Moving On

Dear Bitter/Sweet

I just broke up with my boyfriend of 1 year and 8 months of dating. we've been taking a "break" for the past 2-3 months and i just decided to end it because he's been treating me badly. because of the break, i feel like it was time spent getting over him. the day after i break up with him a guy gives me his number while im at work. i work at a fast food japanese restaurant and a customer and his friend comes in. the restaurant is kind of a panda express type set up, so there's not much time to have a convo or anything. i was just joking around with him and his friend and then gave them their order.. a little while later he comes back and gives me our business card and said very awkwardly "i just wanted to thank you and umm... here" and i look at it and on the back he wrote his number on it. he was very nice, didn't try to hit on me or anything cheesy, dressed nice and didn't look homeless (lol), joked around a lot and seemed really outgoing. should i call him?
and im not good at talking to ppl on the phone. i prefer face to face, would it be appropriate to invite him (and if he wants, to bring a few of his friends) and go with me and some of my friends somewhere social? (out to eat, hookah bar, etc)?oh and i'm 19 he looked like he was in his early 20s.

wish i could close with love,
lonely




Dear Lonely,

Simple. If you and your boyfriend broke up after taking a 3 month break, then you clearly have every right to date again. If you feel like this time around you want to be more careful then taking things as slow as possible is best. Don't over-think it. Going out on a group date with the new guy sounds like the best thing to do. Go for it.

Sincerely,

Sweet


Dear Lonely,

Call him! It's worth a try. If you don't, you might regret it later and wonder "what if". Have fun! And forget that ex! If he treats you badly during your 'break' then tell him to kick rocks! That was the time he was supposed to be proving how badly he wanted you! The best way to get over your old man is to get under a new one!! --oops did i say that!--

Sincerely,
BITTER

Stuck In the Past

Dear Bitter Sweet,

This guy i was with broke things off with me, and then we hung out not too long ago, and things happened. then he stopped talking to me, and when my friend became single they are all over each other. whats up with that? i still like him a lot.. and it hurts me to see my friend like him too. is there any advice you could give me to stop liking him so much, and move on????

xoxo
stuck in the past




Dear Stuck In The Past,

I have to say that your ex hooking up with your friend should be enough motivation to move on. But the heart wants what it wants, and sometimes it makes us feel things we know aren't right. It sounds like this guy is a little bit of a player. Going from one girl to the next is a pretty immature thing to do, and he's definitely not worth your time. I can tell your a bit on the young side, so the best advice I can give you is that guys are going to come and go, and most of them at this age are going to be this if not more immature. Any guy stupid enough not to realize how great you are, is not worth your time. Let him go, and move on.

Sincerely,
Sweet


Dear Stuck In The Past,

Question: What is your definition of friend?! What kind of friend would go and decide to be "all over" someone that YOU like.. your ex!? Sounds like this guy is a DOG. You can find better. He obviously doesn't like you the way that you like him! Don't be silly honey. Go out, have some fun, meet new ones, without your SO CALLED FRIEND!! Have you ever heard that saying "Never make someone a priority when to them your just an option"? That's for you dear. Take it and run with it.. AWAY from them!!

Sincerely,
BITTER

Divine Intervention

Dear Bitter/Sweet,


My gf doesn't allow me to have intercourse anymore with her?
she said the reasons is shes getting more frighten about the sins we're having.(we're moslems). and she only wants to do it if we'are married religiously. is she cheating/is there another guy? ...

Dear Friend,

It seems like your girlfriend has a very logical reason for not wanting to have sex. Remaining abstinant until marriage is a very responsible thing to do. Especially since the two of you are both religious. I think it's best to respect her decision and hold off on sex. If that's something you can't do, then maybe you should move on.

Sincerely,

Sweet

Dear friend,

Sweet said it best!! I think you need to move on because obviously you're not accepting what your girlfriends beliefs are. Let her go. She's a strong woman (as it seems) and she needs a man that will love her and accept her decisions!! If you think you might be able to be with her without having intercourse, great. If not, let go. Eventually she will get sick of you trying and you will most likely have a "bitter" break-up!!

Sincerely,

BITTER

Meet Me in Peru

Dear Bitter/Sweet

So, there's a guy I like here at my old church. He's really sweet and nice and I've known him all my life, from the moment I was born. His mother loves me to death, so I've always had a connection with him. The thing is, I moved a long way away from him and I only come during the summer and for Christmas to visit family. He's a couple years older than me, maybe less. He is what you might call a "mamma's boy," but I don't mind it. He's always been like that. My question is:What should I do? Am I just stupid to think that an on/off relationship would work? We're friends, sure, but... everything gets a little gray sometimes. The worst part is, he's leaving for the missions trip to Peru on FRIDAY!!! And my flight is leaving for home the next Monday. I won't see him for 6 months, until Christmastime! My father says if I can arrange it, I can go to Peru next summer with him and the Church. Help me! I'm at a loss! Should I tell him how I feel before Friday?

And how should I tell him if I were to do so?

Thanks so much.


Dear Friend,

Well it looks like time is definitely not on your side here. The reality of your situation is, sometimes we just kind of gravitate towards the unattainable. Not only has he been a lifetime friend, but he's on his way to another country. At this point telling him how you feel could blow up in your face in a major way! It could ruin your friendship, or even throw him off focus before his big trip. Consider his departure a blessing in disguise. Keep in touch with him as much as possible but don't tell him how you feel. When he comes back to stay, if you still feel the same, let him know. There really is no point in starting something now that the two of you can't finish.

Sincerely,
Sweet


Dear Friend,

Don't waste your time and lose a friend! It's not worth it!! If you don't mind SERIOUSLY risking a life-long friendship, sure GO FOR IT! Not a good idea. Good luck..

Sincerely,
BITTER

Going The Distance

Dear Bitter/Sweet

Ok...this is gonna be long but bear with me!! I was on a placement last week with this guy and he is really nice. I was attracted to him and he's a very nice person. Anyway, he added me on facebook and then from that, he knew I was going to be in alone this past weekend and on Saturday, he texted asking me if I was bored, he was going shopping and I could tag along. Thing is we went to a city about an hour away and ended up going to the cinema as well. When I got back home, I waited a while then texted him to say thanks again cos I appreciated getting out for the day. He then replied saying it was fun and that we'd do it again before I go home (I am at uni and am moving back home next week) and then today, I had to contact him for a signature to do with my placement and he said again, we must do something before I go. A part of me thinks he's just being nice but surely he must like me a little to go to all that trouble and to mention doing something again! what do you think, is he just being nice or do you think there's something there!? thing is I'm moving next week and won't be back and I've tried long distance before but I really really like him? I'm so confused! I'm seeing him tomorrow briefly, so any advice on what I could do to find out if he likes me would be so good!

Dear Friend,

He sounds like a pretty nice guy, an his persistence in seeing you again is a sure sign that he's interested!

But think about what you just said. Long distance relationships aren't something your fond of, so ask yourself if you see this taking on that direction. Do you think this will just be a casual fling? Do you think there is a real solid connection that could grow into something else? If long distance is a problem for you, then perhaps keeping things very casual would be best, and don't worry about how much he likes you. But if you are genuinely interested in this guy, and want to keep in touch; then asking him straight out would probably be your best bet.

Good Luck

Sincerely,
Sweet

Dear Friend,

Let's just be real here. Chances are, a relationship would not work out. And I think you are getting WAY ahead of yourself on this one. You don't even know the man yet!! But I do think that he likes you. Why else would he want to hang out with you again! Duh..I doubt he would waste his time if you weren't worth it!! Hey have fun while you're there but don't be silly, do you think he'd be ALL ABOUT YOU after you moved?! Yeeeeeeaaah RIGHT!!! Get a man you can keep a short leash on!!

Sincerely,
BITTER

Attention Deficit

Dear bitter sweet,

My boyfriend is really not treating me very well. We fight more than anything and I hate that.... he's really hurting my feelings a lot. we have been dating for awhile and we have had many great times. but we just got into a big fight and he stopped texting me back. then i called him and said uh. why are you ignoring me. and he said... ha. I'm playing golf then hung up.. and the fight was about him treating me bad... because last week i had a really really bad week and i admit i wasn't being my best to him but i was trying so hard under the circumstance. please just help me.... please


Dear Friend,

Well, I'm sorry to hear that you and your sweetie are entering hard times. Getting into fights is just another reality of relationships. When this happens it's usually best to be a little patient. Women are very quick to resolve, while men usually like to think things out on their own time. If he's not ready to talk, then give him the opportunity to get ready. Let him know that you understand he's angry still, but that you would like to resolve the issue at hand. Tell him, that at one point you would like to talk and that you are going to give him space for now. After a few days, the two of you can sit down and talk rationally. And honey, don't have this rational conversation via text. Face to face is best.

Good Luck!

Sincerely,
Sweet

Dear Friend,

Ok I can tell by reading this that you are tooooo sensitive and CLINGY! Go get a hobby! Men usually dont like woman that are on them 24-7.. Give him some breathing space!! Stop calling him all the time.. From the sounds of it, you are probably a "bug-a-boo".. STOP.. It makes you look pathetic, desperate and it shouts out "I NEED YOU TO VALIDATE ME".. ugh.. On the other hand, women have mood swings honey, and if he is mean to you because you're having a bad week then you need to trade him in for a MAN. You seem like a sweet girl, TOO SWEET if you ask me! Get a back-bone! Stop calling him so much and let HIM chase YOU. If you guys can't stop fighting all the time, LEAVE.. No one is holding you back right!? Let it go.. crying is for babies. SUCK IT UP

Sincerely,
BITTER

No Sex, No Problem

Dear Bitter Sweet,

I've been with my boyfriend now for almost two years, and we live together. But for some reason we haven't had sex in almost a month. He keeps telling me that it's because he's "tired", but I can't help be be a little offended by this. Should I keep my cool or dig deeper and get to the bottom??

Thanks,
Dry-Spell

"Dear Dry-Spell,

Well let me start by saying this tends to happen from time to time in relationships and it's perfectly normal. Especially after two years. Sometimes our schedules become so hectic and we become so frazzled that at the end of the day all we want to do is go to sleep! It's best to be patient when this happens. Try to be understanding of his energy level. Does he have a lot going on at work or school? Is he trying to make time, or do you get the feeling he's just being lazy. Try cooking him his favorite meal and wearing something sexy to entice him. If that doesn't work then yes, you should definitely get to the bottom of it. Ask him why the change, and what you might be able to do to help him. Sex is a part of relationships, and with-holding it causes confusion. Communication is the key.

Sincerely,
Sweet

Dear Dry-Spell,

Wow that sucks that your man doesn't want you anymore!! Instead of crying and whining about it you need to get him to tell you what's wrong! Do you trust him? To me it sounds like he could have another chick with better merchandise than you!! ALL men want SEX.. Hmm.. Does he happen to spend a lot of time at his male friend's houses? You might want to check into that.. He might have the hots for Joe's and NOT Joanna's if u know what I mean! My suggestion is that u make sure your kitty is clean (no one wants a nasty kitty) and attack him TONIGHT.. If it STILL doesn't work, there just might be something wrong with you that you're not seeing, have his things packed by the time he gets off of work (assuming he works) and get him OUTTA THERE because chances are, he's just using you for something else.. money? A place to stay? Your car? Who knows.. Maybe he just thinks your "goodies" are no good!! Get it together Dry-Spell..

Sincerely,

BITTER"